Oh boy.

The oncology social worker called to ask if I had any questions regarding my upcoming hysterectomy.

I really could not think of anything… then I giggled, because I DID have ONE question- and I asked her:

“Um, what happens to my uterus after? Do I take it home and bury it under a tree? I mean, they let you take your placenta home now after birth… what’s the etiquette with losing your body parts?”

I went on to further explain that I didn’t want to eat it or anything- like some do with their placentas- but I wanted to make sure they didn’t do something with it, like turn it into Soylent Green.

The lady on the other end of the phone stuttered a bit and said:

“Wow, nobody’s ever asked me this before- let me ask them. I think it goes to pathology for cancer testing and disposed, but IDK if you could get it returned to you… wow, yeah, let me ask”

I laughed and told her that it really wasn’t a pressing issue with me, but she continued:

“No, no- I really want to find out, too- I know a lot of people who take their placentas home. This makes perfect sense- no one’s ever asked me this”

I think I may have begun anarchy in the uterus removal trade today, inadvertently.

LOL… I mean, I was just curious. If they give it back, do I have to give it a funeral?!

UPDATE:

Megan, the social worker, called back not even an hour later with a reply!!

1. they used to let you take your body parts home with you, if you signed a waiver of some sort- but now you are no longer allowed to do so due to health and hygiene laws.

2. Megan and I then wondered what the hospital would rule (I like this chick) if, say, someone from an Asian religion had this surgery and needed the part back due to their belief in progressing in their Afterlife.

That was some interesting banter. I really like this office.

I speculated  that it would probably be a state’s law and hospital policy call.

For example, in the state of Michigan, you are allowed to opt out of vaccinations due to religious reasons.

Megan agreed. I mean, you could possible do someone irreversible harm by incinerating their spleen or what-have-you and not allowing them to sew it up in an embroidered cloth, simply because they’d believe they were not going to the Hereafter because they didn’t have all their bits.

That could mean a lawsuit.

I then absolutely assured her that they could have my troublesome uterus, as I didn’t want the damned thing, and that this conversation in no way reflected my personal beliefs.

She laughed and told me I needed to go to law school and come work at her hospital.