Serious Weirdness Continues: ANOTHER THREE GNOMES Showed Up Today- WHERE ARE THEY COMING FROM?!?!?!

my kid with 2 of the 3 new 'mystery gnomes' that showed up today. Apparently, they are now MAILING THEMSELVES TO MY HOUSE.

my kid with 2 of the 3 new ‘mystery gnomes’ that showed up today.
Apparently, they are now MAILING THEMSELVES TO MY HOUSE.

WOW.

If you read my previous post you’ll know that I’ve been having a seriously strange thing happen over the last year: GNOMES have simply been APPEARING in my garden and on my porch, out of nowhere. I have no idea who is doing this.

So I wake up today and the mailman left packages on my porch from Amazon. I thought nothing of it, as we order stuff in for Maisie all the time. I had a Fisher Price Little People house coming in, so I thought it was just arriving early.

I open up the packages and there are THREE FREAKING NEW GNOMES INSIDE! The packing slip said it was a gift, with no name, no sender info, NOTHING. I questioned everyone in this house, my parents- no one sent it from my end. To top everything off, they were HILARIOUS.

imagine my SHOCK when I opened the package and these stared up at me...

imagine my SHOCK when I opened the package and these stared up at me…

One was a flasher with an obvious hard-on (omg, they MAKE THESE THINGS?!), the other was a female gnome STRIPPER, and the THIRD gnome was a larger ZOMBIE GNOME!!!!

yeah... this was the first one Maisie spied and took a shine to

yeah… this was the first one Maisie spied and took a shine to

For some reason (of course), Maisie spotted the flasher gnome, gave a squeal and crawled right to him. The zombie scared her a little, as it has these huge creepy hands, so I named him “Mr Tickles” and pretended he was going to tickle her. It seemed to do the trick, as she started chewing on him and playing with the hideous thing.

Maisie and "Mr Tickles" the Zombie gnome

Maisie and “Mr Tickles” the Zombie gnome

My father suggested I post that ‘someone needs to stop leaving these $20 dollar bills on my porch’ and maybe THOSE would show up instead.

my father thinks I should have complained about 'mysterious $20 dollar bills show up on the porch' instead

my father thinks I should have complained about ‘mysterious $20 dollar bills show up on the porch’ instead

I wish someone would tell me if they’re doing this. It’s an expensive prank! I am still completely freaked out about this.

Maisie was rather TOO enchanted with the flasher

Maisie was rather TOO enchanted with the flasher

Now I am going to have a colony of filthy rude pervert gnomes living in my flower beds. I am almost scared to look through the weeds to see if any more are out there that I missed.

Mr Tickles the Zombie gnome is huge.

Mr Tickles the Zombie gnome is huge and scary looking

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