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Hysterectomy in 2 Days

I’m having a panic attack.

The idea of having my lady bits ripped out of me by ROBOTS (DaVinci robots) isn’t sitting too well with me at the moment.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFb-1XDpYkU

I mean, I know logically that this is routine and it should be ok- but the robot part and the fact that I am going to be spayed like a cat kind of freaks me out.
They will be keeping my ovaries, but removing the fallopian tubes and the uterus due to adenomyosis and fibroids and other things… and checking for cancer.
Pretty standard stuff.

Still, the robots ripping out my female parts- not my kind of sci fi.

The last 3 days of my period- my last period of my life- have been the worst pain I’ve ever experienced. I know this has to go, but omg.

I’m in mourning.

I have not been able to walk since my menses started. My uterus is now swollen to the size of a 4 month pregnancy or more. It’s laying on my spine, retroverted, so the back pain is horrific.

I did a part 1 re the health reasons behind it, but haven’t been able to do the part 2 yet. I tried to put it out of my mind, really.

Booked my hotel in the city where my surgery will be done (an hour away from my home). I have to go have all my fake nails ripped off today prior to surgery, not looking forward to this, either.

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The Decline of My Kishkes, or Retroverted Uteruses & Reproductive Health Scares Part I

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I have a tipped/tilted/retroverted uterus and it can be annoying, to put it mildly

WARNING: THIS POST MAY CONTAIN GRAPHIC AND/OR HILARIOUSLY DISGUSTING DESCRIPTIONS OF DOCTOR’S VISITS, BIOPSIES, RETROVERTED UTERINE ISSUES, AND ADENOMYOSIS/CYSTIC OVARY SYMPTOMS. IF YOU CAN’T BEAR TO READ STUFF LIKE THIS- SPOILER ALERT- GO AWAY NOW.

“Pet Peeve #545:

When ALL your specialists and primary care doctor feel your issues are gynecological, yet your male gyno thinks everyone is wrong and refuses to listen to you OR EVEN TEST YOU until you stick a proverbial foot way up his ass”

This blog started out primarily because of my freakish reproductive system (hint, Maisie).

It is only fitting that I update the trials and tribulations of my nearly 50 year old reproductive organs.

Let me preface this by saying, I am not in menopause and my body doesn’t seem to know it is a-coming. My menstrual cycle is consistently 28-30 days.

I also was born with a retroverted/tilted/ass backwards uterus. Such conditions can worsen over time from childbirth or other uterine issues.


According to Wikipedia, it is defined as:

A retroverted uterus (tilted uterus, tipped uterus) is a uterus that is tilted posteriorly. This is in contrast to the slightly “anteverted” uterus that most women have, which is tipped forward toward the bladder, with the anterior end slightly concave.”

“Tilted posteriorly” means tilted towards your ASS, ie, posterior. Mine is particularly tilted waaaay back, which makes basic bodily functions more difficult over time- more gross details to follow later.

Oddly, I started having some very strange symptoms that became progressively worse in the years after Maisie was born. I went to specialist after specialist to no avail. Gastro docs, urologists, nephrologists, rheumatologists, gynecologists, pain specialists who simply wanted to get me hooked on pain pills, which I refused- nobody could figure out what the hell was wrong with me.

I had lower back pains and kidney infections that did not start out as urinary tract infections- and I’ve never really had bladder infections prior to this, though I’ve had kidney stones before. They kept coming back, no antibiotic seemed to help. My doctor sent me to every specialist she could think of. My bowels stopped working regularly. I had to take massive stool softeners and even that didn’t always help. 

Everything, every test came back normal. I was starting to feel like I was losing my mind, but I KNEW something was wrong.

(for my rant on what I pay for my crazy expensive healthcare insurance, go here)

I KNOW my body and I am pretty much a health nut. I live a Ketogenic lifestyle. I rarely drink and never have been much of a drinker. I don’t ‘party’. I love to cook healthy meals. I work out a lot- I am a FitBit freak and try to get at least 10k-20k steps a day, mostly for the endorphins. The few prescriptions meds I must take, for high blood pressure (another genetic pain in the ass) and GERD, I do religiously. I don’t have depression.

I mean, I HAVE to take care of my health. I had a baby at 45.5 and I want to live to see her grow up. There can be NO room for error at this point. My child needs me to be healthy.

In mid-December 2017, my primary care physician ordered an ultrasound of my pelvic region. The results were complex septated cysts in my left ovary, thickening in my uterus, etc. Complex septated cysts are considered a bit more dangerous than regular ones.

My paternal grandmother died of ovarian cancer at my exact age. Her daughters and one son all carry the BRCA1 mutation. 3 out of the 4 girls had BRCA1 breast cancer. My father was fortunate- he was the only child out of 6 to not have the mutation. Unfortunately, even though I am not a carrier, this still increases my own chances of gynecological cancers.

A MRI was recommended as a follow up. Because we couldn’t get the MRI approved by the insurance company, we had to go with a 6 week follow up ultrasound.

On top of this, I take care of my family- and I mean everyone, including extended family. I am the medical POA for many and the patient advocate for the rest.

I spent months in San Diego this year (and the end of 2017) sleeping in a trauma unit with a family member who was in a catastrophic motorcycle accident- and taking care of them once they were discharged. I only came back to Michigan because of my own health issues.

While in Encinitas, CA, I had my follow up ultrasound at Scripps hospital. It showed no change in the cyst size, but my uterus was getting larger, with new polyps and fibroids and thickening of the uterine walls.

Armed with this info, I sent the ultrasound results to my primary doctor in Michigan. She felt it was urgent that I come home and get this checked out, since my ‘fancy’ insurance didn’t work in the state of California and my pain and symptoms were worsening by the day.

We set up an appointment for March with a gynecologist and I forwarded all of the info from CA to his office a month ahead of time.

I planned for fly back home to MI in March for my scheduled appointments and be back in CA to take care of my family member after the appointments, as they still could not care for themselves.

It didn’t work out this way.

Little did I know, there was going to be a fight on my hands just to get my MRI and to be taken seriously, as his staff did not put the 2nd ultrasound in my chart…

(to be continued in part 2 with the discovery of adenomyosis, cancer biopsies and testing, and my journey towards hysterectomy)


 

 

 

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started yoga 2 days ago

I have been slowwwwly trying to strengthen my core and back muscles again since my back procedure. I am not a fan of pain pills, even if my doctor like to prescribe them to me like peanuts.

No thank you.

Started yoga 2 days ago- the first day I was only able to do 12 minutes! My body was SO stiff!
Tonight I was able to complete 20 minutes, with a toddler crawling over and UNDER me.

My back (knock wood) feels FANTASTIC even with the little bit I’ve been doing. It’s encouraging me to add a morning session to my practice. I am hoping to be able to eventually be able to do Buti Yoga when I am strong enough.

I have Comcast, so I ordered a monthly subscription to Gaiam TV, which gives you loads of yoga/workout videos to use.

I also have a gym membership that I paid a year in advance (for the entire family). I don’t use it, because I have no one to watch the baby when I go. It’s open 24 hours, but by the time someone is home to watch Maisie, the last thing I want to do is drive across town to go to the gym.

Working out at home appeals to me.

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UPDATE: recovering from my week(s) and how Maisie’s birthday bash went (condensed version)

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in a bday present princess nightie (her bday dress was removed due to cake residue)- playing a guitar art project made by my cousin’s talented daughter. My new fave pic 🙂

Had the HUGE baby Maisie birthday bash this week- over 60 people showed up to celebrate with us and stayed on until the wee hours.

Maisie was a perfect hostess- she was able to hang on til about midnight, without having any meltdowns and playing well with all the children and guests.

We had an adult cake smash fight at one point, when my cousin bet my mother a dollar to put the icing on my face… needless to say, about 6 people ended up with cake on their faces. It was hilarious. We are not a sedate, quiet bunch. My parties tend to be kind of raucous, to say the least…

We had a huge full sheet cake with bavarian cream filling- and I cooked a huge spread: 25 lb plus brisket, Persian food, collard greens, appetizers… and people also brought food and drink. Everything- EVERYTHING- was eaten. The only thing I had left after was bottles of vino, vodka, hard cider, beer, soft drinks, juices. I ended up having to cook again the next day, just so we’d have food in the house while we cleaned up.

It was more a party for adults, really… or one of the type of parties I remember attending as a kid with my folks back in the ‘old days’, with the parents having a good time and the children running about playing. Nothing fancy, just lots of people and lots of good food/drink.

My mother went back to Manila this morning, so it was also a sort of bon voyage for her- as well as my cousins’ 35th wedding anniversary.

I am completely EXHAUSTED now. We’re still cleaning up, even though the party was Saturday. I have to do what I can with my back… which feels much better. I am finally (knock wood) off the narcotic pain pills. The procedure seems to be doing what it was supposed to do.

Maisie now wants to sing “Happy Birthday” CONSTANTLY and clap her hands/say “YAY!” after. Poor thing sounds like a screech owl when she sings, so that’s pleasant… lol.

My house guest went back to Houston and now things are much more quiet. Maisie is a bit clingier now that the house is minus one more person, though. That is to be expected.

I bought a gym membership for the entire family this week, too. Hoping I am cleared to start using it soon. I also bought a Buti Yoga DVD set, which I am hoping to utilize as well. I am itching to work out and finally lose this baby weight.

My child has not been allowing me to do much. Her walking is now in full swing and you CANNOT.TAKE.YOUR.EYES.OFF.HER.FOR.EVEN.A.SECOND. If you turn your back on her, she will be climbing something or off in another room. This kid is FAST and my house is HUGE. I will have to call someone in to carpet the front stairwell soon. I swore I’d never cover the wood, but now I’ve changed my mind since this child is a climbing fiend.

I think I’ve spent the most time in years away from the internet/phone/macbook. She’ll steal my phone, my mouse, try to run off with the laptop- you name it, she’ll do it.

The ironic thing is, my house is actually CLEANER now after the party than it was BEFORE. I have no idea how that happened at all. We’re STILL cleaning up, as I said earlier. Maybe it’s all my time away from the internet- I don’t know. Maybe it was the new Dyson Animal I bought. That thing is Ahhh-MAZING. Dysons (and Shop Vacs) are a MUST if you have 3 Newfoundland dogs, like we do.

We WILL be baby proofing the hell out of this place this week. It needs it. I found her eating half of my brand new sugar scrub lip gloss this morning. The resulting farts and regurgitations were disgusting. I have no idea how she opened it- it was in a flat tin and she’s never seen me use it before. Scared the crap out of me!

One thing is for sure- the minute my head hits the pillow nowadays, all I want to do is SLEEP. That is exactly as it should be. I like the fact that I am busy from the time I wake until the time I go to bed. It feels GOOD (well, sometimes) to move. After spending most of the year moving about gingerly, I like this.

Probably not good for blogging, though.

I have an Ipsy review, 2 Birchbox reviews, a ton of food posts to get up and I have no idea how/when these will happen.

I haven’t even really opened/looked at her gifts. I also have a ton of thank you thingies to send out. They’re still (mostly) piled up on the daybed in my office.

Time for me to sleep now… *yawn*

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Well, the spine doctor scared the sh*t out of me today…

I am not sure if this is true or not, but that's what he prescribed.

I am not sure if this is true or not, but that’s what he prescribed.

Update on the bad back situation:

Saw the spine doc/pain management fellow today.  He said I had 6 choices, most of which included (what he said would be) PAINFUL injections to the spine, while awake- including, perhaps, cauterization/burning of those nerves in the lumbar region where the pain is originating.

I have to bodily drive back to South Bend, IN (where my rheumatologist is) and bring him a physical copy (on dvd) of my back x-rays.  He did not order a MRI.

He talked so fast and was so dismissive, I could not get a word in edgewise.  He blew into my room like a rockstar with his 2 female groupies (“assistants”) in tow.I asked him twice to explain the procedures, but he could just tell me ‘they were painful’ and continued to blow me off.  I expressed my nervousness over what he was saying, he said I sounded MANIC.

Um, excuse me, F*cker, but that was A-N-X-I-E-T-Y, not mania.  I am not bipolar, but I know quite a few others who *are* and that would be an incorrect diagnosis.

When I also told him that I wanted to resolve this and not become a slave to pain meds, because I have an infant daughter to care for- he prescribed Tramadol.  I don’t know much about this med, but he was sure to inform me that it was an opiate.  Yay.

Not.

I paid my $75.00 copay for that consult.  My frustrations with the $1600 dollar shit insurance I pay for monthly are a WHOLE ‘nother blog…

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After A “Certain Age”, Babies Are Hard On The Back… Now Three People Have Their Backs Out Because of Maisie!

Last week, I was taken by ambulance from my living room to the ER.  My back spasm’d and went out.  I have L2-L4 issues and a possible herniated disc.

The ER docs immediately injected me with valium, morphine, and toradal.  I went from shrieking pain to La-la-land in a matter of moments.  They sent me home with a few prescriptions for pain management and instructions to contact my primary care doctor.

Now I am facing months of physical therapy and pain management, which I am not doing well with.  I also *HATE* pain meds. Anything that makes it hard to poop and makes one forget chunks of time is NOT ok with me.

Yeah, pain meds DO ease discomfort, but I am already an exhausted Mombie as it is. My inner control freak would rather opt for bouts on my Teeter Hang Up and visits to my chiropractor.

I need to do yoga STAT, but have to wait for an okay from my doctor.  At this moment, I am not supposed to lift her, nor bend/twist for SIX FREAKING WEEKS.

Not going to happen… impossible.  I have a 10 month old baby who is going through her ‘separation anxiety- mamamamamaaaa!!!’ stage.

Fast forward to this week:

The good news is that I am feeling much better, with occasional doses of meds-lots of inversion table time- and bed rest.  The bad news is that I had week-long family visiting from Houston, TX and one of them put THEIR BACK out picking up the baby.  They’re on their way to the airport in Chicago as I type this and I feel horrible that they are in so much pain.

Also, my ‘manny’ (yeah, had one for the last five months) ALSO put HIS back out this month from picking up my little beastie!  He is better, but has occasional issues and will be leaving some time this month for must needed rest and relaxation.

I am hoping to get my back and core back in shape so that I can handle this baby alone when the help goes. In the meantime, I have been lifting her/carrying her occasionally.

Unfortunately, she has to learn to be put down more. It’s a process…