Category Archives: Dementia

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Over 50 and Pandemic Weight Loss Diary Day 6

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2.2 lbs gone by the morning of day 6- not too shabby.

Mama was rushed to the hospital yesterday and admitted, after a series of falls that left her with 4 cracked ribs. She also has other more alarming issues that we cannot pinpoint yet. She throws up a lot, her troponin levels are high, and her bloodwork is off. She is 77 yrs old, with vascular dementia, and lives at an amazing care home.

We (both the owner of the facility and I) had a helluva time getting the visiting doctor’s office and doctor.

Our elderly are seen as disposable in this world, especially once they have dementia and this is so grossly unfair and inhumane. Needless to say, I put my foot down this time and wouldn’t budge.

This diet has helped me not to binge in the midst of crisis, something I am normally super prone to doing.

Today’s “Daily Prompt” from my support group was to write down no less than 10 of my strengths. This is a difficult one for me, but here goes:

1. I am persistent

2. I am loyal

3. I have a deeply ingrained sense of responsibility to others and myself

4. I am funny

5. I am loving

6. I am fearless

7. I am lucky for others

8. I love making people feel good about themselves

9. I am inuitive

10. I am weird

Ok, so that was hard and seemed way too self-centered for my comfort. Ugh. I love these exercises because they take me out of my comfort zone and I like it. I enjoy being out of my comfort zone for some reason. It always leads to growth.



I am going to focus on eating less bars and doing more shakes and soups and variety. All of my fuelings are still in the big box because I have nowhere to store them yet.

R bought a ton of shrimp for my lean & green meals, so I need to eat that for the duration. I am getting a bit sick of salads, so maybe a scampi-type thing next with cauliflower rice for dinner. Whatever is easy. It doesn’t matter. Food is fuel for me right now.

Day 6–
Morning Weight: 171.6 (woot, going back down despite the fact that I must be made of pure cortisol from the stress)
15,245 steps
1 hour 10 min. cardio
92 oz of water

12:55 am- 1st fueling: CARAMEL CRISP BAR and a big cup of coffee

3:15 pm– 2nd fueling: WILD RICE & CHICKEN FLAVORED SOUP W/CARROTS, CELERY, ONION, PEAS, AND SHIITAKE MUSHROOMS (had this before. It needs a pinch of salt and some spices. My body doesn’t retain sodium well, so I need to adjust everything for my body).
5:45 pm- 3rd fueling: SOUR CREAM & CHIVE WAFFLED POTATOES with laughing cow cheese
7:45 pm- 4th fueling:  YOGURT BERRY BLAST shake

9:45 pm-Lean and Green meal: GARLIC SHRIMP AND CAULIFLOWER (R BOUGHT SO MUCH SHRIMP, I NEED TO USE IT UP- plus I needed to start eating earlier. I can’t deal with big meals so late at night,) It was SO good, so satisfying. 7 oz of shrimp is A LOT. I think I may have gone over my fat allowance, but not by much.
11:30 pm-5th fueling: HONEY MUSTARD & ONION STICKS

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Over 50 and Pandemic Weight Loss Diary DayΒ 5- ADVOCACY FOR OUR SICK AND ELDERLY.

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Why I need to stay alive/control my health and weight/be healthy… for my baby.

Woke up to the phone ringing and have some impromptu stuff to suddenly do. I was late with my first fueling. A bit after, I got a call from my mom’s nursing home (she has dementia and is getting over Covid and having other issues that are scary and unrelated) that Mama fell again. She’s been doing this so much lately and we’re worried. Her doctor has been really apathetic and this is unacceptable.
Once people have a dementia diagnosis, they are STIGMATIZED and thrown away by the system.

Couple that with the fact that she is a brown (Filipino) person who cannot advocate for herself and it’s a nightmare. She also has numerous genetic odd health problems not commonly seen in the general US populations, like APP (porphyria) and dermatomyositis.

I have literally been on the phone since I woke up, non-stop. My anxiety is THROUGH THE ROOF.

They sent her back to the hospital (I am updating this post as things happen), so I am waiting with a pit in my stomach near my laptop to keep abreast of her test results.

UPDATE: She has a variety of strange health issues and 4 cracked ribs. They admitted her. Today has been very scary.

So, today in my Optavia group, we were tasked with the following:

“List 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can touch, 2 things you can smell, and one thing you can taste”

FIVE THINGS I CAN SEE:
1. the Alexa
2. Rowan the corgi
3. Maisie
4. This laptop
5. my nails typing

FOUR THINGS I CAN HEAR (no mean feat, because I have hearing loss):
1. the bathtub water running

2. Maisie talking in my ear
3. Rowan shuffling around

4. the kid breathing

THREE THINGS I CAN TOUCH:
1. Maisie at my elbow

2. Rowan’s fur

3. This keyboard

TWO THINGS I CAN SMELL (not much, I had covid and it never came back completely):
1. The dog
2. Hell, I need a shower

ONE THING I CAN TASTE:
1. my lingering bad breath from the coffee (yikes!)

Went to my friend’s to get my lashes done and she surprised me with Xmas Balenciaga pajamas! These are my day 5 pics, no makeup. I am getting quite silver now.

these will suffice as my day 5 pics



OK, NOW FOR MY STATS OF THE DAY:

Day 5–
Morning Weight: 172 (no change since yesterday)
13,200 steps
57 min. cardio
80 oz or more of water

11:00 am- 1st fueling: CREAMY DOUBLE PEANUT BUTTER CRISP BAR and a big cup of coffee, because, DAMN. I needed it this morning. I was late fueling due to phone calls and family emergencies.

1:00 pm– 2nd fueling: HONEY CHILI CRANBERRY NUT BAR WITH FLAXSEEDS, PUMPKIN SEEDS, AND ALMONDS. (this tasted better today. Probably because my person has been purged of sugary tastes since starting this diet. It’s good, it’s ok.)


3:00 pm- 3rd fueling: CINNAMON CREAM CHEESE SWIRL CAKE (waffled). Meh, ok. My kid said it smelled like apple pie. I’m not even a fan of cinnamon rolls, so I have no idea why I ordered it. Some will love it, tastes like pumpkin spice stuff. I am not a huge pumpkin spice fan.


6:00 pm- 4th fueling:  ROASTED GARLIC SMASHED POTATOES waffled with a pinch of reduced fat cheddar- so good

8:05 pm- 5th fueling: CAMPFIRE S’MORES CRISP BAR


10:30 pm- Lean and Green meal: CHICKEN AND SHRIMP CAESAR SALAD and 2 oz of avocado

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I haven’t been able to write or update about my mom, but here are some photos from today…

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It is heartbreaking. I have no words. My son and I visited this afternoon.

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A Funny and A Sad Blurb From My Mom…

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Went to visit my mom today at the mental health facility.

Her dementia is far more evident now that her bipolar and aggression are under control, and it is sad to realize how much she’s losing. She clutches a piece of paper with my number and my dad’s in her hand all day long.

She was happy to see us- Maisie gave her hugs and kisses. Maisie was allowed in as long as a nurse was there to supervise.

My mom’s odd, frontal temporal lobe, filter lacking sense of humor shone through when I filled her in about the dodgy assisted living home owner guy. I mentioned to her that he’d been insistent that she needed to divorce my dad.

Mom: “What did he say?!”

Me: “He said you needed to divorce dad, he was insisting and asking when this would happen”

Mom: “I don’t remember spending time with him, did I give him a blowjob or something? Why is he asking this??! I don’t remember giving him a blowjob…”

She laughed and then said “Get me out of there, I don’t like that”

A few minutes later, with a straight face, she said:

“You need to tell your dad I want a divorce”… and she was back in her sad dementia loop again.

We could only visit for an hour, as visitation is 7:30-8:30 pm only.

When I got home, she called crying, saying we left too early. She read the sign, then saw the clock and realized we left at the right time.

She was both funny and heartbreaking tonight.

I have a sick pit in my stomach.

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Court or No Court? Consent or No Consent? Panic Attack or No Panic Attack? PLUS UPDATE and VLOG

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Trying not to have a panic attack right now… woke up to a call from the social worker at the psych ward my mother is currently in. Apparently, she can’t tell me much, due to some confusion as to whether or not my mother has given consent to release information.

HIPAA law is an asshole, in my opinion, at this very moment.

I am her POA (Power of Attorney). I’ve been having her ‘flag down’ a nurse every time I talk to her to give VERBAL CONSENT on the telephone since she’s been in this facility.

We did not have this type of runaround at Pine Rest, so it is very frustrating.

Things my mom’s current social worker DID/was able to tell me:

1. No, my parents aren’t compelled to divorce as per the group home owner’s questioning.

2. She is compiling a list of ‘safer’ homes that would be (in their mind) a better fit. AFC homes aren’t locked facilities. The doctor recommends a locked facility right now, as she is not stable on meds.

3. When I asked about the paper I received last night re: the mental health court hearing on the 6th, I was told that I should contact the court house- specifically a person in the probate courtΒ that the hospital itself deals with.

Apparently, there may not even BE a court hearing that day, as she was given 3 options and one was to waive the hearing- which would mean she would be agreeing to treatment.

UPDATE:

Left a message with the guy the social worker directed me to and received a call back. He confirmed that my mother had indeed met with her court-appointed lawyer the other day and signed a waiver agreeing to comply with medical treatment… when I asked if this means I should still pursue the guardianship or not, I was told to absolutely do so.

Now I have to go to visitation tonight and have her sign a written consent form to allow these people to talk to me.

I am really anxious about this, all of it.

Pursuing guardianship is a lot of work and a lot of responsibility. I do already make almost all of the health decisions and do the legwork for my parents, but not in any official sort of capacity. My sisters don’t want the responsibility- they live far away and are very ill themselves.

Leaving guardianship up to a stranger would be unhumane and irresponsible, in my opinion.

I am going to vlog the rest. This is too much too type for me this early in the morning.