Category Archives: funny

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IG Updates While I’m Stuck In Bed As Cleaning Lady Cleans and People Wrap Gifts

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Maisie and I have been banished to my rooms until the gifts are wrapped and the cleaning lady finishes her thing (ie, saving my life).

My Xmas Menu consists of 2 Prime Ribs, a honey ham (I don’t eat ham, but the rest do), and other yummy things I need to start cooking.

(Yes, I am Jewish. No, not everyone else is. We celebrate ALL holidays. If we’ve missed one that may be particularly fun, leave a comment below and we’ll celebrate that as well- a party is a party, y’all)

So, here are the highlights:

My Menorah (it’s a Hanukkiah, people, but Americans always call the Hanukkah one that) and our kickass Xmas tree- obviously right at the end of Hanukkah:

More pics of Desmond, the MINI Cooper Convertible, or what my father likes to call my ‘mid-life crisis’-  We made this killer car seat pad from “British Fashionista” fabric to protect leather and I scotchguard-ed it.

He got a unicorn “cutie mark” (as Maisie calls it)

and other ridiculousness… I am restoring this baby MYSELF (yes, I am eclectic like that) and I also have a love of silly things.

Plus- VOILA! Changed out the faded boot emblem

Finally, my nail lady, whom we adore, bought Maisie a giant unicorn (to go with her smaller one). Maisie named it “Sweetheart”

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Maisie’s Sick In Bed YouTube Science Videos

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My poor little monkey woke up with a stomach bug. She’s rarely sick, knock wood- and refused to believe there was anything wrong with herself.

She DID have time this morning to want to make math and science vids from her 4 yr old perspective.

#1 tells the difference between googol and Google:

#2 is kind of all about the tastebuds of the tongue…

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She’s so cute, even when she’s not feeling well! ❤

 

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Maisie’s 1st DIY Youtube vids

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My 4 yr old made a “Kawaii Kitty” toy for herself that we designed and she helped sew and stuff the thing.

She has her own tiny sewing machine, but she used the big one today.

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Maisie (after using the big sewing machine): “OOOOH, IT’S SOOO FAST!”

Here are her vids- I think she’s adorable.

As she says “Please press LIKE and subscribe” (Actually, she’s just cool with the thumbs up thingies)

and her last video of the night

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(Videos) Maisie’s Science Corner: She Explains How We Hear & How Planes Fly

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Four year old Maisie explains “The Bones of the Middle Ear and How We Hear” (and yes, she needs her hair brushed):

And, in this one, she tries to explain how airplanes fly:

I think my kid is stinking cute, super smart, though her English could use some improving (we’re multilingual)- and that EVERY PARENT/HUMAN should watch or let their kids watch Storybots on Netflix. She adores this show and learns SO much.

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Conversations with the oncology social worker… or, what happens to my lady bits after they take them? PLUS UPDATE- SHE CALLED BACK WITH THE ANSWER AND GAVE US MORE QUESTIONS!

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Oh boy.
The oncology social worker called to ask if I had any questions regarding my upcoming hysterectomy.
I really could not think of anything… then I giggled, because I DID have ONE question- and I asked her:
“Um, what happens to my uterus after? Do I take it home and bury it under a tree? I mean, they let you take your placenta home now after birth… what’s the etiquette with losing your body parts?”
I went on to further explain that I didn’t want to eat it or anything- like some do with their placentas- but I wanted to make sure they didn’t do something with it, like turn it into Soylent Green.
The lady on the other end of the phone stuttered a bit and said:
“Wow, nobody’s ever asked me this before- let me ask them. I think it goes to pathology for cancer testing and disposed, but IDK if you could get it returned to you… wow, yeah, let me ask”
I laughed and told her that it really wasn’t a pressing issue with me, but she continued:
“No, no- I really want to find out, too- I know a lot of people who take their placentas home. This makes perfect sense- no one’s ever asked me this”
I think I may have begun anarchy in the uterus removal trade today, inadvertently.
LOL… I mean, I was just curious. If they give it back, do I have to give it a funeral?!

UPDATE:

Megan, the social worker, called back not even an hour later with a reply!!

1. they used to let you take your body parts home with you, if you signed a waiver of some sort- but now you are no longer allowed to do so due to health and hygiene laws.

2. Megan and I then wondered what the hospital would rule (I like this chick) if, say, someone from an Asian religion had this surgery and needed the part back due to their belief in progressing in their Afterlife.

That was some interesting banter. I really like this office.

I speculated  that it would probably be a state’s law and hospital policy call.

For example, in the state of Michigan, you are allowed to opt out of vaccinations due to religious reasons.

Megan agreed. I mean, you could possible do someone irreversible harm by incinerating their spleen or what-have-you and not allowing them to sew it up in an embroidered cloth, simply because they’d believe they were not going to the Hereafter because they didn’t have all their bits.

That could mean a lawsuit.

I then absolutely assured her that they could have my troublesome uterus, as I didn’t want the damned thing, and that this conversation in no way reflected my personal beliefs.

She laughed and told me I needed to go to law school and come work at her hospital.