0

I should be blogging, but life & bleeding & Bourdain & grads & ballet get in the way…

CBHNBKSWYAE0HUF

I should be blogging about my female issues, part 2, but at the moment my innards are weeping the bloodiest of tears. I’ve slept so much this week since the endometrial biopsy- and it jump started my period early. I had no idea that simple uterine biopsies could take so much out of a person. The pain is better, the fatigue is not.

My hysterectomy is scheduled for 12 July.

My endometrial biopsy (the first) should be back early this week, the oncologist says.

My son graduated from high school last weekend, I still need to add this to the blog. I am so proud of him.

Maisie has her 2nd ballet/tap recital of her life tomorrow. I will be herding cats/taking care of the tots back stage, like I did last year. Someone has to do it and I’m evolving into a stage mother at this point.

The other crazy things happening in the periphery are dying down, for now. I’ve had my say and will continue to work through this, as a reminder to myself and others- don’t let people walk all over you. There are some seriously chronically messed up opportunists out there- and yeah, while addiction can account for a lot, that still is not an excuse for what was done to us.

I think about Bourdain and his fragility- and the fragility of those around us. This world will eat you up and spit you out if you don’t stand up for yourself and for what is right. Tony Bourdain stood up against the tides, championed his girlfriend’s #metoo cause against Weinstein- and it still wasn’t enough.

I saw a chilling post Bourdain put up on his Twitter on 22 May. It called out some guy re being found hung (I’m paraphrasing) in a lavatory from auto-erotic asphyxiation. It kind of gave me chills. While I don’t know the circumstances surrounding his death any more than the rest of us (a bathrobe belt, found tied to a door)- suicide or accident- neither is preferable.

He had his child at 50. That alone would make it impossible for me to take my own life, but I don’t live in anyone’s skin but my own.

It’s sad, sad, sad in this mad world.

Death comes to all of us, sooner or later. I think about my own mortality a lot right now. I’d fight tooth and nail against it, just like I fight tooth and nail against any other injustice levied against others and myself.

But life goes on, children grow up and graduate and do their recitals and play with their toys. We grow older. We die.

Over and over, in different bodies and different lives, it is all the same. We all share this common thread- even though we believe we’re unique.

We’re not unique. That is the beauty of it. The sameness, the threads that bind us- that’s the wonderment.

0

Frauds & Old Broads

I’m too old for this bullshit”

At least that’s what I say

While muttering under my breath

Judging the other old broad

Who is simply clinging to dreams

Long since shattered by genes

and drugs

and other people’s opinions…

“I am too old for this bullshit”

I keep telling myself these lies

While I, too, am just as insecure

Aging not as fast as the other bird

But clinging fast to a pipedream

Fostered by hard work

and artifice

and expensive fucking fillers…

“We are both frauds, you and I”

I will say I’m almost 50

while I pop my heart meds

and stare at my smooth face

in the mirror

made deceptively young

while my insides rot away

like everybody else’s…

“We are both frauds, you and I”

Hiding your real birthday

popping your pills

photoshopping your wrinkles

in photos

made deceptively young

while your soul rots away

with your own delusions…

———————————————–

But the biggest truth this old bitch can spew:
I am still glad I am nothing quite like you

That, too, is fraudulent,

we’re both the same

The only difference

Lies in our pain.

0

Ode To The Rude

Ode To The Rude

Have a care, I must report
Think hard before you retort
For I am simply not the sort
To hold my tongue in vain

While trying not to analyze
The scads of perfect alibis
How shocking that they all tell lies!
But they always sound the same-

While again I try to reason
Something smells a lot like treason
I think it might be wabbit season
On the maniacally insane

Look to the bedbugs in your bed
Do roll your eyes at THEM instead
Bravado masks the social dread
Can one quiver with disdain?

The moral of this short discourse:
While others may display remorse
What separates an ass from a horse:
Horses don’t scheme & beg for pain…

 
©2018 JDA

2

Vind wat je zoekt…

giphy

Oké, nu naar beneden scrollt… it’s a few days back.

Useful links:

Part 1- How It All Began w/Writing a Screenplay for Cannes
Part 2- The Gap Sales Lady Lawyer
Part 3- My Child Traumatized By This (w/video)
Part 4- The Tale of Ludwig
Part 5- She Decides to Attack Maisie’s Dad- and he replies to her!

ALSO: Poetry, or ‘Em er some interesting reunions going on

4

Je houdt alleen van jezelf…

I knew a girl who went to Boston

Opportunity knocking at her door

Dreams of editors to save her soul

That she’d known once before-

 

So she planed this glad reunion

And wanted so to be his muse

Said the kids would stay in Europe

With their papa, what the deuce?

 

I cannot fathom heartless women

Who leave their families in dismay

Chasing dreams of lust and scandal

While motherhood slips fast away

 

We should let this be a lesson

Hold to ourselves those most dear

Instead of freaking drugs and aging

When abandonment is surely near 

 

The moral of this little story

Jotted down by this kind elf

Is the truth, when you tell them

Je houdt alleen van jezelf 

1

The Tale of Ludwig- Or, It’s a Sad World If People Think IMDB Credits Are More Important Than Apologizing For Scaring A Child.

They added the new “French Kiss” movie site on Facebook.

As an aside, they sadly and hilariously misspelled the co-author’s name. Her name is Christine-Marie Liwag Dixon- and it was changed to “Ludwig” a number of times, even after we pointed this out.

The saddest part was when Christine tried to participate in our group chats with these people, they’d ignore her comments completely, as if she were invisible.

It’s been corrected now on the page, but it reminds me of this meme from “Parks and Recreation”:

Instagram-510153

the saddest part was when Christine tried to participate in our group chats with these people, they’d ignore her comments completely, as if she were invisible.

I thought about things, about winding this feud up and getting back to real life, because it’s like arguing with aliens.

What these people seem to not comprehend, because they don’t seem to display typical human emotion, was that the proper thing to would have been:

1. NOT HAVE A PERSON CALL AND THREATEN MY HOUSEHOLD IN THE FIRST PLACE

barring that,

2. APOLOGIZED FOR THESE THINGS and addressed the part where a small child had been caught in their crosshairs AND TRAUMATIZED.

I don’t know what some folks are taught, but there has to be some sort of moral high ground.

They only seem to understand narcissism and fake victimization. It’s all for the glory for them, apparently. Nothing else and nobody else matters.

That is a sad state of affairs for them, in my opinion.

Suddenly, I find my blog seems to be quite popular in the Netherlands and Belgium, where they live on the Antwerp/Kapellen/Putte border area.

People have actually been quite decent about this and I am touched by some of the messages received from you. I thank you all so much for your support.

Dank je wel et Merci Beaucoup, jamais en altijd.

I have always loved the Dutch and Flemish people.

I only had ONE semi-nasty message from her camp- it was a fellow from Instagram.

I can absolutely see how this person could manipulate others into feeling sorry for them, to do her bidding. I was ONE OF THESE PEOPLE originally. I totally get it.

I will post below:

We seem to be oddly popular in Belgium and the Netherlands today

from the Instagram

1

Soooo… the ‘actress’ called today- and later, I find out that she retained a Gap Sales Lady as her FB lawyer PLUS UPDATE: SHE USED A STOCK PHOTO-

UPDATE: HER ‘GAP LAWYER’ WAS A STOCK PHOTO- NICE TRY. SHE USED A ROYALTY FREE STOCK PHOTO TO THREATEN ME THIS TIME.

33691454_10216823741132664_3912486194704809984_n

Saw an UNKNOWN call come in on the phone. It was the actress.

We recorded it all.

Basically, the summary:

I had to tell her that it was less about credits & more about the actual THREATS:

ONE SIMPLY DOES NOT HAVE strangers call and threaten to fly to Amereeeeeca and attack someone/their family.

She simpered “Why did you write that?”

Me: “We NEVER have strangers call others & threaten to attack them in their homes”

S: “WHY DID YOU WRITE THIS, WHAT DID I DO TO YOU?”

Me: “Please re-read manuscript”

LATER, I receive THIS email:

She is now having sales ladies from the Gap attack & serve me with legalese.

Things must be mighty bad in the movie industry if her legal representation works in retail.

Since I saved and screenshot-ted everything she wrote- and video’d all the calls, with witnesses in the room, go ahead. Send you legal reps from Dollar Tree next.

Also, though I am not one to talk, Tilly ought to use spellcheck.

33612906_10155991211539024_5266761070432747520_n