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I should be blogging, but life & bleeding & Bourdain & grads & ballet get in the way…

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I should be blogging about my female issues, part 2, but at the moment my innards are weeping the bloodiest of tears. I’ve slept so much this week since the endometrial biopsy- and it jump started my period early. I had no idea that simple uterine biopsies could take so much out of a person. The pain is better, the fatigue is not.

My hysterectomy is scheduled for 12 July.

My endometrial biopsy (the first) should be back early this week, the oncologist says.

My son graduated from high school last weekend, I still need to add this to the blog. I am so proud of him.

Maisie has her 2nd ballet/tap recital of her life tomorrow. I will be herding cats/taking care of the tots back stage, like I did last year. Someone has to do it and I’m evolving into a stage mother at this point.

The other crazy things happening in the periphery are dying down, for now. I’ve had my say and will continue to work through this, as a reminder to myself and others- don’t let people walk all over you. There are some seriously chronically messed up opportunists out there- and yeah, while addiction can account for a lot, that still is not an excuse for what was done to us.

I think about Bourdain and his fragility- and the fragility of those around us. This world will eat you up and spit you out if you don’t stand up for yourself and for what is right. Tony Bourdain stood up against the tides, championed his girlfriend’s #metoo cause against Weinstein- and it still wasn’t enough.

I saw a chilling post Bourdain put up on his Twitter on 22 May. It called out some guy re being found hung (I’m paraphrasing) in a lavatory from auto-erotic asphyxiation. It kind of gave me chills. While I don’t know the circumstances surrounding his death any more than the rest of us (a bathrobe belt, found tied to a door)- suicide or accident- neither is preferable.

He had his child at 50. That alone would make it impossible for me to take my own life, but I don’t live in anyone’s skin but my own.

It’s sad, sad, sad in this mad world.

Death comes to all of us, sooner or later. I think about my own mortality a lot right now. I’d fight tooth and nail against it, just like I fight tooth and nail against any other injustice levied against others and myself.

But life goes on, children grow up and graduate and do their recitals and play with their toys. We grow older. We die.

Over and over, in different bodies and different lives, it is all the same. We all share this common thread- even though we believe we’re unique.

We’re not unique. That is the beauty of it. The sameness, the threads that bind us- that’s the wonderment.

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Confessions of a Makeup Hoarder: My Upstairs Bathroom Makeup and Perfume Haul!

This was what I found in my upstairs bathroom.  I usually only keep 'emergency' makeup here

This was what I found in my upstairs bathroom. I usually only keep ’emergency’ makeup here

Like I promised in my original blog post, I am going to start whittling down my GINORMOUS makeup collection.

My makeup purge-a-thon started with a cleaning of my upstairs bathroom. I rarely use this bath and keep just a minimal (for me) amount of ’emergency makeup’ there. I also have things I had forgotten about stashed in that room and my bedroom, too.

a peek into my upstairs bathroom

a peek into my upstairs bathroom

While I was at it, I decided to clean my bedroom as well. Until this week I had not slept there for about a year and a half-ish. I was on bedrest during my pregnancy, then recovering from the c-section- so the sofa was where I lived.

The makeup purge of my ‘small emergency stash’ in the bathroom turned up:

-5 different eyeshadow palettes
-37 lipsticks/lip glosses
-a dozen or more eye liners
-8 different mascaras
-A BRAND NEW IN BOX Bimatoprost (Latisse) eyelash growth medicine!

omg!  this stuff is SO pricey!  I can't believe I lost a brand new box of it!

omg! this stuff is SO pricey! I can’t believe I lost a brand new box of it!

-BRAND NEW Michael Kors perfume (xmas gift)
-Urban Decay Honey body powder- also BRAND NEW
-2 tweezerman tweezers
-7 different makeup pencil sharpeners
-4 eyebrow pencil/gel thingies
-Hard Candy blush
-assorted expired eye and face creams
-3 concealers
-MAC pigments
-a ton of makeup brushes (foundation, eyeliner, shadow, blenders, lip brushes)

I am very proud of myself- I was able to throw away all but 2 of the eyeshadow palettes (brand new Stila and an Urban Decay palette I thought I lost), the blush, most concealers, 80 percent of the brushes, all the mascara, eye creams, etc.

my garbage bag:  PROOF that I tossed stuff away

my garbage bag: PROOF that I tossed stuff away

BRAND NEW (from Xmas) Stila eyeshadow palette and other things

BRAND NEW (from Xmas 2013)”Bring Out Your Glam” Stila eyeshadow palette and other things

I was still left with a pretty impressive haul, including an amazing assortment of 15 lipsticks and glosses that I forgot I had. I had 2 of a particular color, which is a testimony to my sick hoarding habits.

the 'keepers'- lip products

the ‘keepers’- lip products

BATHROOM LIPSTICK/LIPPIE/LIP GLOSS HAUL!

BATHROOM LIPSTICK/LIPPIE/LIP GLOSS HAUL!

maa1

WHY do I have 2 in the same exact color?!?!?

WHY do I have 2 in the same exact color?!?!?

maaaa

the one on right is a MAC that I’d been searching for

Yeah… keep in mind, this is my SMALL stash. I’m really worried about what I will find when I clean out the downstairs bathroom.

Urban Decay Honey (lickable) body powder- was still new in it's packaging!

Urban Decay Honey (lickable) body powder- was still new in it’s packaging!

A brand new (was still in package, too) Michael Kors perfume- my fave

A brand new (was still in package, too) Michael Kors perfume- my fave

My makeup addiction is out of control. I have to also say that I am very pleased that I did this purge. It was getting ridiculous. I don’t even wear makeup much anymore since this baby was born.

Well, at least the bathroom and my bedroom got a cleaning while I was at it…

my newly tidied bedroom

my newly tidied bedroom

my little cleaning/purging helper

my little cleaning/purging helper