It is heartbreaking. I have no words. My son and I visited this afternoon.
Down another half pound since Monday morning- 161 lbs or about 3 lbs lost of cheat day weight (half)
11 lbs gone in 16 DAYS- down from 14 lbs in 12 days
Wearing my 26 yr old junior college sweatshirt and it fits!
It’s been a very stressful week. My 3 yr old is sick again with croup, my mother was just moved into assisted living, and other things like stress eating and exercise.
Trying to get my very overweight 19 yr old son with Aspergers into keto and yoga with me- very worried about his health. He is 5’10 and 276 now. Today will be his first day.
I am 1.5 lbs down from the 5.5-5 lbs I gained after Sunday. I won’t lie, I am a bit disappointed. I weighed in at 162, took 1/4 pack of the ketone drink with my favorite black Organo coffee with ganoderma reishi mushrooms, and went on with my day… which was almost entirely without power/electricity due to a tree falling on power lines 1/2 a mile from my house last night.
We didn’t get our power back until 4 pm today.
It is starting to get chilly outdoors (30s/40s), so temps in my house dipped below 60F most of last night and today. It wasn’t fun, since I currently have a toddler who is sick with croup and fever (again).
I have been rather strict with my keto diet since yesterday. Today’s meal was my favorite standby of roasted beef marrow bones with avocado halves and a salad of arugula, capers, shallots, lemon, and olive oil.
I am hoping tomorrow’s scale is better… but I kind of overate the keto foods tonight at the last minute… even though I have over an hour of cardio in, some weighted hula hooping, and over 19k steps per fitbit today.
It’s been such a stressful week! I need to keep moving to save my sanity!
Went to a friend’s dad’s beautiful horse farm for a lovely house party and cheated on keto
There is absolutely no way to make Lularoe leggings look flattering on me, but I am down 12 pounds in 11 days!
I am only 5’4 and a half, maybe, so I am not a tall, lithe person. I am extremely muscular and moderately active at the moment. I have not had the time I usually have to do yoga or get more than 10-12k fitbit steps in lately, so this is mostly from the keto diet and the ketone drink I started drinking less than 2 weeks ago. The drink helped me over the plateau weight I’ve been hovering at for a year.
Went to visit my mom today at the mental health facility.
Her dementia is far more evident now that her bipolar and aggression are under control, and it is sad to realize how much she’s losing. She clutches a piece of paper with my number and my dad’s in her hand all day long.
She was happy to see us- Maisie gave her hugs and kisses. Maisie was allowed in as long as a nurse was there to supervise.
My mom’s odd, frontal temporal lobe, filter lacking sense of humor shone through when I filled her in about the dodgy assisted living home owner guy. I mentioned to her that he’d been insistent that she needed to divorce my dad.
Mom: “What did he say?!”
Me: “He said you needed to divorce dad, he was insisting and asking when this would happen”
Mom: “I don’t remember spending time with him, did I give him a blowjob or something? Why is he asking this??! I don’t remember giving him a blowjob…”
She laughed and then said “Get me out of there, I don’t like that”
A few minutes later, with a straight face, she said:
“You need to tell your dad I want a divorce”… and she was back in her sad dementia loop again.
We could only visit for an hour, as visitation is 7:30-8:30 pm only.
When I got home, she called crying, saying we left too early. She read the sign, then saw the clock and realized we left at the right time.
She was both funny and heartbreaking tonight.
I have a sick pit in my stomach.
Trying not to have a panic attack right now… woke up to a call from the social worker at the psych ward my mother is currently in. Apparently, she can’t tell me much, due to some confusion as to whether or not my mother has given consent to release information.
HIPAA law is an asshole, in my opinion, at this very moment.
I am her POA (Power of Attorney). I’ve been having her ‘flag down’ a nurse every time I talk to her to give VERBAL CONSENT on the telephone since she’s been in this facility.
We did not have this type of runaround at Pine Rest, so it is very frustrating.
Things my mom’s current social worker DID/was able to tell me:
1. No, my parents aren’t compelled to divorce as per the group home owner’s questioning.
2. She is compiling a list of ‘safer’ homes that would be (in their mind) a better fit. AFC homes aren’t locked facilities. The doctor recommends a locked facility right now, as she is not stable on meds.
3. When I asked about the paper I received last night re: the mental health court hearing on the 6th, I was told that I should contact the court house- specifically a person in the probate court that the hospital itself deals with.
Apparently, there may not even BE a court hearing that day, as she was given 3 options and one was to waive the hearing- which would mean she would be agreeing to treatment.
Left a message with the guy the social worker directed me to and received a call back. He confirmed that my mother had indeed met with her court-appointed lawyer the other day and signed a waiver agreeing to comply with medical treatment… when I asked if this means I should still pursue the guardianship or not, I was told to absolutely do so.
Now I have to go to visitation tonight and have her sign a written consent form to allow these people to talk to me.
I am really anxious about this, all of it.
Pursuing guardianship is a lot of work and a lot of responsibility. I do already make almost all of the health decisions and do the legwork for my parents, but not in any official sort of capacity. My sisters don’t want the responsibility- they live far away and are very ill themselves.
Leaving guardianship up to a stranger would be unhumane and irresponsible, in my opinion.
I am going to vlog the rest. This is too much too type for me this early in the morning.