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Over 50 and Pandemic Weight Loss Diary Day 5- ADVOCACY FOR OUR SICK AND ELDERLY.

Why I need to stay alive/control my health and weight/be healthy… for my baby.

Woke up to the phone ringing and have some impromptu stuff to suddenly do. I was late with my first fueling. A bit after, I got a call from my mom’s nursing home (she has dementia and is getting over Covid and having other issues that are scary and unrelated) that Mama fell again. She’s been doing this so much lately and we’re worried. Her doctor has been really apathetic and this is unacceptable.
Once people have a dementia diagnosis, they are STIGMATIZED and thrown away by the system.

Couple that with the fact that she is a brown (Filipino) person who cannot advocate for herself and it’s a nightmare. She also has numerous genetic odd health problems not commonly seen in the general US populations, like APP (porphyria) and dermatomyositis.

I have literally been on the phone since I woke up, non-stop. My anxiety is THROUGH THE ROOF.

They sent her back to the hospital (I am updating this post as things happen), so I am waiting with a pit in my stomach near my laptop to keep abreast of her test results.

UPDATE: She has a variety of strange health issues and 4 cracked ribs. They admitted her. Today has been very scary.

So, today in my Optavia group, we were tasked with the following:

“List 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can touch, 2 things you can smell, and one thing you can taste”

FIVE THINGS I CAN SEE:
1. the Alexa
2. Rowan the corgi
3. Maisie
4. This laptop
5. my nails typing

FOUR THINGS I CAN HEAR (no mean feat, because I have hearing loss):
1. the bathtub water running

2. Maisie talking in my ear
3. Rowan shuffling around

4. the kid breathing

THREE THINGS I CAN TOUCH:
1. Maisie at my elbow

2. Rowan’s fur

3. This keyboard

TWO THINGS I CAN SMELL (not much, I had covid and it never came back completely):
1. The dog
2. Hell, I need a shower

ONE THING I CAN TASTE:
1. my lingering bad breath from the coffee (yikes!)

Went to my friend’s to get my lashes done and she surprised me with Xmas Balenciaga pajamas! These are my day 5 pics, no makeup. I am getting quite silver now.

these will suffice as my day 5 pics



OK, NOW FOR MY STATS OF THE DAY:

Day 5
Morning Weight: 172 (no change since yesterday)
13,200 steps
57 min. cardio

80 oz or more of water

11:00 am- 1st fueling: CREAMY DOUBLE PEANUT BUTTER CRISP BAR and a big cup of coffee, because, DAMN. I needed it this morning. I was late fueling due to phone calls and family emergencies.

1:00 pm– 2nd fueling: HONEY CHILI CRANBERRY NUT BAR WITH FLAXSEEDS, PUMPKIN SEEDS, AND ALMONDS. (this tasted better today. Probably because my person has been purged of sugary tastes since starting this diet. It’s good, it’s ok.)


3:00 pm- 3rd fueling: CINNAMON CREAM CHEESE SWIRL CAKE (waffled). Meh, ok. My kid said it smelled like apple pie. I’m not even a fan of cinnamon rolls, so I have no idea why I ordered it. Some will love it, tastes like pumpkin spice stuff. I am not a huge pumpkin spice fan.


6:00 pm- 4th fueling:  ROASTED GARLIC SMASHED POTATOES waffled with a pinch of reduced fat cheddar- so good

8:05 pm- 5th fueling: CAMPFIRE S’MORES CRISP BAR


10:30 pm- Lean and Green meal: CHICKEN AND SHRIMP CAESAR SALAD and 2 oz of avocado

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Rebounder Set Up, New Stability Bar, and Cake the Kitten (plus video) and 10% off!

View this post on Instagram

Cake the kitten went wild when he saw the new rebounder and wouldn’t get off! He likes to bounce around, too- and will often get under the thing while we’re bouncing. He’s a little hellion. LOL.

Since surviving pulmonary embolisms and covid, I have to use a rebounder to keep my hear rate stable and my immune system going smoothly- will be writing more about that on the blog at missmaisieandme.com (I know, I am a tad bit late, but homeschooling this kid has turned into an all day thing this week). We even keep one in our RV at the farm! 

Currently, we’re using a 48” rebounder from @leapsandrebounds, but now we will be putting another smaller 40” rebounder in the RV instead (which should save precious space).

I have a new stabilizer bar for when I get dizzy spells or for when my father, who is older and has essential tremor, needs to use it.

❤️In this post, you can get 10% off Rebounders from @leapsandrebounds! ✔️Follow their page! ✔️use MissMaisie10 at checkout for your discount OR go to this link: ✔️https://leapsandrebounds.com/discount/MissMaisie10 💋🎈💗😘

#rv #rvliving #rvliving #rvexercise #rebounding #rebounder #covid_19 #covid #covidsummer2020 #covidsurvivor #pulmonaryembolism #pulmonaryembolismsurvivor #lupus #essentialtremor #vertigo #leapsandrebounds #healthylifestyle #chronicillness #kitten #kittensofinstagram #kittens #cat #catsofinstagram #catsofinstagram

A post shared by Miss Maisie & Mommy (@missmaisiebabyfashionista) on

It wasn’t a difficult set up, except for the part where the man boinged himself with a bungee… absolutely LOVE the new rebounder and can’t wait to get it into the RV.

(also, to get it out of the little house. I have no room in here for 2 rebounders)

Cake the kitten was RIDICULOUS about the new one. He was bouncing and dancing all over the thing for a solid 2 hours.

I really LOVE the new stabilizer bar. I thought I ordered one for a larger trampoline, but I was mistaken. Keeping it, though. It’s great to have something to hold onto when one is feeling off balance or dizzy.

I got the bar for my dad’s rebounder originally, but it doesn’t fit the 48″ ones (It only fits the smaller ones). It really improves the experience, even for me. It makes me feel safer when I am wobbly. I suffer from vertigo and weird dizziness leftover from being sick still. My dad has essential tremor and balance issues (thanks, Vietnam War). Having a stability bar is a must for those of us with issues such as these.

The bar has 3 height adjustments, with the highest being comfortable enough for someone about 6′ or more.

I really love this new addition to our rebounder, I will probably order a big one for both dad and me.

I haven’t had time to write the lonnnng (and it will be long) PTSD filled trauma surrounding my covid and pulmonary embolism recovery, due to beginning home schooling the kiddo and other weird snafus (like 3 people in my family, including the kitten, injury their right legs/paws).

I am still offering the 10 percent discount from Leaps and Rebounds for any of these purchases if you would like one of these for yourself.

In this post, you can get 10% off Rebounders from www.leapsandrebounds.com

✔️Follow their page at https://www.instagram.com/leapsandrebounds/


✔️use MissMaisie10 at checkout for your discount OR

✔️go to this link:
https://leapsandrebounds.com/discount/MissMaisie10
💋🎈💗



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I haven’t been able to write or update about my mom, but here are some photos from today…

It is heartbreaking. I have no words. My son and I visited this afternoon.

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Jess- 3 Days Post Cheat Day & 3 lbs Down: Keto Over 40- The Stress & Obese Teen Edition

Down another half pound since Monday morning- 161 lbs or about 3 lbs lost of cheat day weight (half)

11 lbs gone in 16 DAYS- down from 14 lbs in 12 days

Wearing my 26 yr old junior college sweatshirt and it fits!

It’s been a very stressful week. My 3 yr old is sick again with croup, my mother was just moved into assisted living, and other things like stress eating and exercise.

Trying to get my very overweight 19 yr old son with Aspergers into keto and yoga with me- very worried about his health. He is 5’10 and 276 now. Today will be his first day.

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Court or No Court? Consent or No Consent? Panic Attack or No Panic Attack? PLUS UPDATE and VLOG

Trying not to have a panic attack right now… woke up to a call from the social worker at the psych ward my mother is currently in. Apparently, she can’t tell me much, due to some confusion as to whether or not my mother has given consent to release information.

HIPAA law is an asshole, in my opinion, at this very moment.

I am her POA (Power of Attorney). I’ve been having her ‘flag down’ a nurse every time I talk to her to give VERBAL CONSENT on the telephone since she’s been in this facility.

We did not have this type of runaround at Pine Rest, so it is very frustrating.

Things my mom’s current social worker DID/was able to tell me:

1. No, my parents aren’t compelled to divorce as per the group home owner’s questioning.

2. She is compiling a list of ‘safer’ homes that would be (in their mind) a better fit. AFC homes aren’t locked facilities. The doctor recommends a locked facility right now, as she is not stable on meds.

3. When I asked about the paper I received last night re: the mental health court hearing on the 6th, I was told that I should contact the court house- specifically a person in the probate court that the hospital itself deals with.

Apparently, there may not even BE a court hearing that day, as she was given 3 options and one was to waive the hearing- which would mean she would be agreeing to treatment.

UPDATE:

Left a message with the guy the social worker directed me to and received a call back. He confirmed that my mother had indeed met with her court-appointed lawyer the other day and signed a waiver agreeing to comply with medical treatment… when I asked if this means I should still pursue the guardianship or not, I was told to absolutely do so.

Now I have to go to visitation tonight and have her sign a written consent form to allow these people to talk to me.

I am really anxious about this, all of it.

Pursuing guardianship is a lot of work and a lot of responsibility. I do already make almost all of the health decisions and do the legwork for my parents, but not in any official sort of capacity. My sisters don’t want the responsibility- they live far away and are very ill themselves.

Leaving guardianship up to a stranger would be unhumane and irresponsible, in my opinion.

I am going to vlog the rest. This is too much too type for me this early in the morning.

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Guilt and Waking Up at 3 am

Tonight I didn’t answer the phone when my mother called repeatedly from the psych ward at Lakeland.
 
I wanted to have one night this week where we could pretend life was ‘normal’ and not falling down around our heads- so that we could all enjoy Halloween and not spend it crying.
 
She left a ton of messages on my voicemail, each wondering if I knew she was in the hospital.
 
I woke up abruptly from sleep,with this huge sense of dread and guilt weighing heavily upon me. I wouldn’t even call it guilt- it was remorse. Stomach churning, benign neglect of another human being. I have been doing this a lot lately- just to try to save my own sanity- and it makes me ill inside.
 
I could tell that she didn’t remember her previous calls and it scared me. I could clearly hear the panic and confusion in her voice, the not remembering part… and it was heartbreaking.
 
What a difference it was from our visit with R’s 93 year old grandmother tonight! She lives alone and is only a bit forgetful, but otherwise sharp as a tack. It almost served as a painful foil, a bittersweet contrast.
 
My mother is 20 years younger than Nana. This monster that has consumed her entire life, seems to be now eating away at her brain, like pac man.
 
It is hard to distinguish the bipolar, the mental illness, from the dementia- she is so clever and sad and angry and anxious and lonely. She is still HER inside of her core and it is going away bit by bit.
 
Tomorrow, I finally head to the courthouse to apply for guardianship. We had been ill (and I’ve been depressed) since the previous week, so it hasn’t been done yet.
 
If you ask me how I feel, I’d say so sad. I feel as if this is my lot to bear, not because I truly love or respect or even feel like she was or is my parent- but because she is my parent, I have to do this. I don’t know if this makes any sense to anyone else.
 
I would never want my children to feel the same apathy that I do about my parents. All of this, including Maisie being born so recently, has given me a second chance to re-examine my relationships with my family, myself, and those around me.
 
Unfortunately, I come up lacking in so many regards, but I know I can fix ME. I can’t fix her or my dad or my siblings.
 
I wish I could make them love me or me them, really.
 
I wish I had a magic wand to fix this for everyone.
 
My only solace is giving my 2 youngest kids the magical childhood- as much as I can- and love that I wish I would have had myself.
 
I thought I felt better today… and I do… but I am kind of upset to have woken up crying at 3 am, sad all over again and typing.
 
The people who know me in real life know that I am not prone to being this weepy mess- so it is really bothering me to feel this raw and exposed.
 
So, like any brave Aquarian would- I’m going to go with it and try to learn to love me and be authentic.
 
If anyone else is going through similar, I want you to know you’re not alone.
 
xo