Katie O’Reilly on the Downsides to Donating Your Eggs

thought this was a really interesting blog post. I know that a lot of women over 40 opt for donor eggs. My Maisie was all mine and resulted from the use of the supplement ubiquinol, but this is good to know…

I can commiserate with her problems after fertility treatments – I had a brief foray into that sphere with no success, but ended up with three years of serious female troubles, not unlike what O’Reilly describes.

I am not a fan of Clomid and the hormones that they pump into a woman during fertility treatment.  My first TIA (small stroke type event) also happened during this process.


For a brief while in my late twenties, I toyed with selling my eggs. In the end, I was afraid of having the procedure, of what the fertility drugs might do to me—and the idea of having offspring out in the world whom I might never know. (I was afraid enough of having offspring I would know, which I ultimately avoided.)

At BuzzFeed, writer Katie O’Reilly writes about her experience going through with the procedure a few years ago. Now, she suffers from what appear to be side effects—the evidence is pretty persuasive, although unconfirmed—and has many regrets:

After wading through a slew of Craigslist ads seeking plasma donors, I finally hit upon a gig that sounded promising: “Extraordinary females” with “high SAT scores, athletic backgrounds, and emotional resiliency” were being sought to “make someone’s dream come true.” My pulse quickened as I read on to learn that for this “most…

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Natural Pregnancy After 45: List of Supplements I Took Prior To Conceiving And During Pregnancy

All content provided on this “missmaisieandme.com” blog is for informational purposes only. The owner of this blog makes no representations as to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this site or found by following any link on this site.

The owner of missmaisieandme.com will not be liable for any errors or omissions in this information nor for the availability of this information. The owner will not be liable for any losses, injuries, or damages from the display or use of this information.

I am also not a representative of any of these companies listed- I am just sharing what worked for *me*.

Maisie at 9 months at the beach

Maisie- 9 months-at the beach

I am a supplement junkie.  I fully admit that I have a huge love for them.  I am not a huge fan of Big Pharma drugs at all.

I am of the belief that “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure” for most things.

Prior to my (accidental) conception of this child (at age 45), I had been going through a month-long juice and salad cleanse.  I started on ubiquinol supplements about 3 months prior.  I was also taking regular vitamin D3 (for my lupus) and lugol’s iodine drops (2-3 drops in my water, 1x a day).

Supplements prior to conception:

Supplements taken AFTER conception/during pregnancy:

  • Lugol’s iodine 2-3 drops 1x/day in my water.  Great article on fetal intelligence and higher IQs in babies because of iodine supplementation HERE.  Another article about why iodine is so important during pregnancy HERE.
  • Maca (first 2 months of pregnancy, to prevent miscarriage) 2 tablespoons per day, usually blended in a green juice.  Article HERE.
  • Vitamin D3 10,000 ius 1x/day.  Cuts down on pregnancy complications and risks (like pre-eclampsia), article HERE.  More reasons why D3 is vital for brain development HERE.   High doses also lead to better muscle mass and less type 1 diabetes- article HERE.
  • Prenatal vitamins these are pretty standard.

In addition, I was also on high blood pressure medication (Labetalol), progesterone, and heparin for my high blood pressure, progesterone issues, and Factor V Leiden blood clotting disorder.

Even with my 65 lb. weight gain, I did NOT get gestational diabetes nor did I develop preeclampsia, something they worry about in older pregnancies.

That’s it!

My child was born at week 37 by scheduled c-section and weighed 7 pounds 7 ounces and was 20 inches long.  Her Apgar score was perfect.

Knock wood, she has been uttering words since 2 months and is very intelligent and strong.  At nearly 10 months, this child is already very advanced in speech and growth.  She’s my little social butterfly dancing fool.  🙂


Over 40? Need a Fertility Boost? Try Ubiquinol! It (ACCIDENTALLY) Worked For Me~

Let me preface this by saying I DO NOT REPRESENT THIS COMPANY NOR AM I SELLING ANYTHING!  I just want people to know what worked for me…

I have genetic autoimmune disease (lupus), high blood pressure, Factor V Leiden (blood clotting disorder), and MTHFR mutation- all things that can prevent later in life pregnancies from being successful and can cause miscarriage- yet I carried a HEALTHY baby to term at 45 because of this stuff!

Our first snuggle

Our first snuggle

After a ‘certain age’, our eggs start to get genetically ‘wonky’ and we generally don’t have as many as we did when we were younger, the experts say.

This is why there is such a high rate of miscarriages in many women over 40.  Their eggs were not as genetically ‘sound’ as they used to be- chromosomal issues can run rampant… again, this is what the ‘experts’ say.

I wasn’t trying to get pregnant with Maisie.  I was minding my own business, trying to get healthy and fit- and combat the lethargy that was creeping up on my aging body.  Someone told me about Ubiquinol and I happened to receive a free bottle of the stuff from a company called Naturewise Ubiquinol (on Amazon.com).  I took the stuff as directed and three months later- SURPRISE!  I was pregnant.

** the dosage I took was 100 mg 2x/day for the first 2 weeks- then 100 mg 1x a day after…

How did this happen?

Well, from this website I learned:

“CoQ10 is considered by many to be the miracle nutrient because almost every living cell relies on it for energy production. An important fact that you may not know is that the body requires certain levels of CoQ10 to function properly. If these blood levels drop, the body becomes more susceptible to disease and premature aging. This is why CoQ10 is so vital to the health of both the male and female reproductive system; most importantly egg and sperm health. But to truly understand why CoQ10 is so important to health, you must first learn what it is and why its most biologically active form, Ubiquinol is a key player in improving egg and sperm health.”


“There are two forms of CoQ10, ubiquinone and Ubiquinol. CoQ10 starts off as ubiquinone and then is converted within the cell to the more powerful Ubiquinol. Ubiquinol is considered one of the most powerful antioxidants.

CoQ10 is a considered a “vitamin-like” nutrient because it is synthesized in the membrane of human cells, but it is also obtained in small amounts through dietary intake. It is most abundantly found in organ meats, but can also be found in dark leafy green vegetables like spinach, kale and broccoli, nuts, seafood, and meat. Though the amounts of leafy greens a person would need to consume to obtain therapeutic amounts of CoQ10 would be high. That is why nutritional supplementation of CoQ10 and/or Ubiquinol is suggested. Most all CoQ10 supplements available are in the form of ubiquinone. Ubiquinol is different in that it is the most biologically active form of coenzyme Q10 and does not need to be converted by the body. Ubiquinol is eight times more potent than ubiquinone.”

To sum up the above:  Over 40s should NOT take coq10, instead you take UBIQUINOL because we can convert it more readily into a usable form that older bodies need.

Another website has even more interesting information for people who are trying to get pregnant over 40:

Suggested: If taking Coenzyme Q10 ,  800-1000mg/day is recommended. If takingUbiquinol , 300-600mg/day is recommended. (With both forms, if egg quality is poor, take a little more.)

Be sure to take it with some fat or with a meal to enhance absorption. Take it for at least 3 months prior to conception, preferably 6 months. Stop taking either after embryo transfer or positive pregnancy test (not because of any recognized danger but simply as a precaution).

Caution: If you take CoQ10 or Ubiquinol late at night, it could keep you awake, much like a strong cup of coffee. Also, taking too much CoQ10 overall can lower your blood pressure, so it’s not a good idea to take it if you’re on certain medications. Check with your doctor.

Coenzyme Q10 and Ubiquinol
are essentially the same thing. The only difference is that ubiquinol is a purer, more absorbable form of CoQ10, which is why you need to take less of it. Since both are expensive, ubiquinol may be more economical, but it can be harder to find. “

“Before now, Western medicine has always firmly believed that the aging of eggs was irreversible. But according to a recent study involving CoQ10 and aging mice (equivalent to women in their 40s), it may actually be possible to improve egg quality and reverse some age-related infertility. In the study, the aging mice given CoQ10 got nearly double the number of ovulated eggs and consequently had litters nearly twice the size as the control group. What’s more, 100% of the mice given CoQ10 got pregnant compared to only 70% of the control.”

I started taking ubiquinol again when Maisie was 2 months old, because I needed the energy to deal with a newborn and I love how I feel on it.  It is suggested that you discontinue taking it during pregnancy, which is what I did.

Other things to remember when supplementing with ubiquinol:

1.  It takes THREE (3) MONTHS MINIMUM FOR ubiquinol to rejuvenate your eggs.  Be patient and don’t freak out if your periods get weird in the interim- it happened to me and others before we fell pregnant.

2.  If you have low blood pressure, keep in mind that ubiquinol can lower it even further.

3.  It works to improve sperm health as well, men CAN take this.

4.  More isn’t always better.  100-300 mg a day is enough.  Ubiquinol is far more potent than regular coq10.

5.  After giving birth, ubiquinol really helps give you a bit more energy.

If any of this information helps you and/or you’ve gotten pregnant with the help of this supplement, let me know!  Leave a comment!  I’d love to hear from you 🙂

So far, at least 12-15 ladies I know from the Facebook over 40 groups have gotten pregnant/given birth with the aid of ubiquinol, even after the fertility procedures and doctors had given up.

Sticky vibes and blessings to all of you!

Maisie, my miracle ubiquinol baby, playing her piano at 9 months

Maisie, my miracle ubiquinol baby, playing her piano at 9 months


“OMG, You Don’t Look Your Age…” Let Me Tell You Why

A photo of my entire face with the glossy balm on the lips.

A photo of my entire face with the glossy balm on the lips.

A lot of older mothers I know (mostly through Facebook, on the older mums groups) complain that they’ve been asked if their children were their grandkids.  Thankfully, I haven’t had that problem.  I have the exact OPPOSITE issue.

I am 46 and a HALF this month, by the way…

During pregnancy it was almost comical to see the doctors and nurses do a double take or assume that there was a mistake regarding my actual birth date.  Though my face didn’t show my age, I still have a ton of issues that plague middle-aged people (high blood pressure, genetic autoimmune disorders, bad back and arthritis, etc.).

I try to control my health issues by eating right (half the time, some of the time) and exercise (again, sporadic), plus loads of supplements.

My face- well, that one is easy.  I will share with all of you outright what I do.

When you see women in Hollywood who are over 40 and look a-mazing, you’ll also hear their denials about having any work done.  That’s bullsh*t.  99.9 percent of these women HAVE and DO get things done to make themselves look younger.  They have access to products that most normal people haven’t even heard of.  Their JOB is to look good.

Genetics also plays a HUGE roll in how we look, but taking care of ourselves yields even greater rewards, in my opinion.

People say, “Oh, it’s not NATURAL”- or, “It’s too much work”.  Well, you get out of it what you put into it, just like anything else.  If it’s not your cup of tea, terrific.  If it is, good for you!

I have no idea why people are ashamed to admit to a beauty regimen or a little work.

While I have never had any surgical procedures done on my face, I HAVE done the following:
(Disclaimer:  I am not a medical professional and what works for me may not work for you- consult your doctor)

  • Botox, love it.  This is the botulism you’ve been waiting for. I’ve been getting it off and on since I was about 30 yrs. old.  It prevents wrinkles from forming- and, unlike what some people say, it doesn’t erase all your facial expressions if you get it from a good doctor.  It lasts about 4-6 months at a time.  I sometimes go a year between sessions, but generally get it done every so often.  I liken it to touching up the grays in my hair (yes, I have those, too).  Botox can erase 5-10 yrs off a person’s face in a matter of days.  If you’re in SW Michigan, Bellissima Medical Spa and Dr. Cheryl MacDonald are AMAZING.  Those ladies look great and do fantastic work.
  • Chemical Peels  These remove the damaged layers of skin and can erase years, acne scars, you name it.  Depending on the type of peel you get, you may have some down time and may also look like a peeling zombie for a while.  I’ve done Jessner’s Peels and some lighter ones.  You don’t want to do this at home.  If your skin is a good candidate, it can yield terrific results.
  • Dermabrasion I haven’t done this in a few years, but I always love the results.  It’s kind of like sandblasting the layers of skin on your face.  They now make decent at home treatments- not as good as what one could get from a pro.  It’s a sort of super-exfoliation. Not much down time, if any at all.
  • Dermarollers They work, but not a great fan of them.  Basically, it’s a little roller thingie with teeny needles in it.  You roll it over your face and it stimulates collagen growth.  I’ve seen it work on deep acne scars and my uncle’s forehead wrinkles.  I personally can’t be bothered with it.  Amazon sells them.
  • Facercise THIS WORKS!  I’ve been doing facial exercises (not all the time, sporadically, like everything else) since my early 30s and it really DOES tone the muscles and skin on the face.  I like it, but I generally forget to do them or get bored with it.  People that stick with it really get firmer, more youthful faces.
  • Vitamin C Serum Just discovered this stuff recently, while shopping on Amazon.  Vitamin C exfoliates the skin, for a more luminous complexion.  If you have acne scars or lots of sun damage- you NEED THIS!!  My pores are smaller, lines are diminishing, and my face looks firmer- after only 2 weeks of use!  I use the Coui Vitamin C Serum and am hooked!  Click the link and read the reviews.
  • Latisse I have skimpy, Asian type eyelashes and brows, thanks to my mother.  This stuff is pricey and requires a doctor’s prescription, but it WORKS.  After 4 months of use, my lashes went from nothing to WOW.  I stopped using it during pregnancy, but started back on recently.  I use a teeny eyeliner brush and ONE drop of the stuff on both eyes and both brows.  Doing it that way yields the same results and you can stretch a bottle out for 2-3 months.  Also, I’ve seen generic foreign versions (Bimatoprost and Careprost) sold online for a fraction of the US cost, with good reviews.
  • Makeup  I don’t wear as much makeup as I did before the baby was born- actually, I rarely wear it because I really don’t have a lot of time most days.  Good makeup can make anyone look great.  Even if you just do a swipe of mascara and a bit of concealer under the eyes and some lipgloss, it perks up a face.  Too much makeup can be aging, so as you get older, your makeup should change as well.  We often lose the ‘glow’ our skin once had as we get older, too.  A good highlighter works wonders.
  • Hair Color As I grow older, my hair has been getting grayer.  I color my hair.  I find that the darker colors I once loved are aging and harsh, so I’ve been gradually been going blonder.  I love it.
  • Weird Korean Snail Cream My friend posted an article about Mizon Snail Cream on FB and I tried it and love it.  It’s now my go-to night cream.  I have no problems with snail snot on my face- it looks like any other lotion and makes the skin SO soft.
  • STAY OUT OF THE SUN!  DON’T TAN- OR AT LEAST, DON’T TAN YOUR FACE!!!!!! This is one of the MOST IMPORTANT THINGS.  It KILLS me to watch women continue to fake and bake in the tanning beds or in the sun.  If you love laying out, wear a hat.  So many of my friends have been treated for skin cancers, it’s just scary.  I grew up on a beach, but never was one to just lay there and tan.  Turns out now I am not even supposed to go in the sun without sunscreen because of my lupus (it triggers flares).  Get a spray tan (I hate spray tans, too.  They smell too much like cat pee to me).  Don’t cook yourself.
  • DRINK A TON OF WATER!  I try to get 2-3 liters minimum per day.  A hydrated body means hydrated skin.  I am not always successful, but I try to keep track of my water intake.

                    Supplements I take WITHOUT FAIL:

  • Vitamin D3, I take about 10k-20k ius a day.  Helps keep depression at bay and keeps lupus from acting up.  I never get colds anymore, either.  Wonderful stuff.  I get my Vitamin D levels checked often and they are NEVER too high, even with the dosage I consume.
  • Ubiquinol from Naturewise yeah, this is the stuff that got me pregnant and studies show that it greatly improves cardiovascular health and prevents free-radical cell damage.  Also gives me a nice boost of energy that I need in order to care for my baby.
  • Lugol’s Iodine  I live in a place that has a problem with iodine deficiency.  Lugols iodine is the ONLY type of iodine that can be consumed.  Here is a link to the health benefits of iodine.

Send In The Clowns: Stupid Things People Say When They Find Out You’re Over 40 And Pregnant…

3 week old Maisie's response to her detractors

3 week old Maisie’s response to her detractors- keeping it classy…

Having a surprise pregnancy at 45 was difficult enough with all the health/doctor issues.  I could navigate through those things just fine- what REALLY ticked me off were the things people said that were stupid/hurtful/downright MEAN when I announced my pregnancy.  Having had a previous miscarriage at 43 (fetus died in utero at 6 weeks 6 days, a pretty common demise), I knew what to expect.  We announced that failed pregnancy far too early.  The doctors even told me that I was infertile due to my age and to never expect to fall pregnant again.  (Oddly, I’d been juice cleansing when I got pregnant at 43 as well… just an FYI for those looking to get knocked up).  By the time I became pregnant with Maisie, I’d entirely given up all hope and was perfectly fine with never having another child.

I have likened being pregnant in your 40s to a teen suddenly falling pregnant– you get similar shock and asinine comments.  If you’re going through this now, or have in the past- you’re not alone.  Feel free to post your experiences in the comments section.

Anyway, after the miscarriage at 43, I heard such gems as:

“Are you TRYING to breed a retard?!” (from a FORMER gay male friend.)

“You’re SO lucky you miscarried, I’d KILL myself if I got pregnant at our age” (from a NURSE)

“Those Asians, son, they look 18 when you go to bed with them, but one day you’ll wake up and she’ll suddenly look 80” (FROM MY PARTNER’S FATHER, as he drove us to the hospital for my D & C after the miscarriage- I was in the BACK SEAT- I let him have it after and didn’t speak to them for YEARS.)

Since I am a bit outspoken and testy by nature, people were a bit less forthcoming with their comments once they realized Maisie’s pregnancy was ‘sticking’. I’d also try to diffuse a lot of comments by saying “well, I found out it wasn’t menopause”, yet I still heard some seriously insensitive things:

“Are you crazy?!  You’ll be 178 yrs old by the time that child graduates”

“Do you realize how old you will be when she goes to college?”  Um, duh.  I do have basic math skills.

“You probably won’t live long enough to meet your grandchildren”  That was morbid.  I know plenty of people who had kids young and didn’t live to see their grandkids.

“You’re too old, too old… are you sure the MaterniT test was right?  You could have a DS baby” (not that there is ANYTHING WRONG with a person with Down’s)

“well, I guess it’s too late to have an abortion, isn’t it?”

“in my day, women were ashamed to have ‘Change of Life’ babies and hid in the house until the baby came”  I hid in the house, too, involuntarily.  They call that ‘bed rest’.

“your sons are all grown now, why would you put yourself through THAT again?”  I am happy to put myself ‘through that’ again.  As a young mother I missed a lot of wonderful things and my sons grew up far too fast.  I cherish each and every second with my Maisie now.

Oddly and thankfully, as this pregnancy progressed, the negativity became less and less.  Women I knew who were my age began confiding to me that they’d ALSO love to have another little one, but were fearful because of their age/health/etc.

Our joy was shared with everyone (mostly on Facebook, because I like to overshare a wee bit too much) and I began to understand why grandparents feel such love and adoration for their grandkids:  You get do-overs.

Maisie is my do-over.  She makes me stop and appreciate the smallest of things.  I truly wish I would have had this foresight as a young mother.  I wish I would have given MORE of myself to my sons when they were children.

Life gets in the way and you believe you have all the time in the world.  We don’t.  We never know how long our stay on Earth is going to be.

For those of you going through this or who have gone through this before:  I feel for you.

For those who know people who are older and pregnant- be supportive and shut your damned mouths.

Pregnancy is difficult no matter how old the woman is.

Another positive thing that has come from having a daughter late in life:  People who used to be unsupportive are now amazingly wonderful with us.  Older mothers are becoming the new norm.  It’s not a shameful thing anymore.

I sometimes joke that some of us should only be issued our uteruses at 40, because you’re calmer and more settled.

Motherhood after 45 has been the best thing that’s ever happened to me.  It was worth the pain, the negative comments, all of it.