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Happy Happy Day! Blue Bottle Garden Trees

I’ve been wanting on of these things for years!

Now, the ones in the pics aren’t MY tree, I just found a smaller one that will fit a teeny hillock on the NW corner of my garden.

DSBT-03

I’m obsessed with blue bottle trees like these- and blue glass evil eye trees

My friend is delivering it in about 30 minutes. Granted, mine is much smaller- about 16″ at base and 5 feet tall, but it is the perfect size for where I want to place it.

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pic of the one I bought from my friend, minus the bottles

I plan on making a fairy garden for Maisie nearby.

I love lots of whimsy in my gardens and Maisie loves helping outside. We live in a very artsy, laid-back beach town- so growing food on your lawn and sculptures are pretty much the norm in my book.

 

My gnomes will appreciate this, too.
BTW, my mysterious gnome problem ceased about 2 yrs ago.

 

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omg!!! Woman targeted in creepy garden statue prank (AND IT’S NOT ME!!! SOMEONE ELSE WENT TO THE COPS ABOUT SAME THING!)

https://au.news.yahoo.com/a/29254842/u-s-woman-targeted-in-creepy-garden-statue-prank/?cmp=yfb

I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING TO OTHER PEOPLE!!!

my gnome issues HERE

Someone is creeping out a US neighbourhood with their random garden statue prank.

Since the end of July, 54 garden statues have mysteriously appeared in the front yard of a California woman’s home.

NBC Los Angeles reported, Robyn Yearout claimed she had no idea why someone would want to place garden statues in her yard.

Ceramic gnomes, lions, bunnies and other statues have appeared in recent weeks, some of them were even broken.

One of the statues. Photo NBC News

She felt it was creepy because many of the statues had been positioned to face her front door.

Ms Yearout confirmed only two of the statues actually belonged to her.

“We walked out in the morning and we had a group of them looking at us when we came out the door,” she told NBC.

Photo: NBC News

“As if they were plotting against us.

“I assumed that instead of being TP’d (toilet papered), I got yard-creatured”.

Ms Yearout said she’d been in contact with her local police and hoped to return the statues to their rightful owner.

Ms Yearout felt the prank was really unusual. Photo NBC News
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Dumpster Diaries: Decluttering When I Can’t Do Anything Else- More Kitchen Progress!nom

I am feeling very accomplished now- even if it’s only a little bit at a time

As I wrote in my earlier post, I’ve been purging thanks to my Facebook friend Marilyn, who introduced me to Flylady.net this month.I am still gaga over the microfiber cloths that I bought on Amazon!

on the ‘flight plan’ today from flylady.net was the fridge- this thing is SOOO clean now, thanks to those microfiber cloths!

On the ‘flight plan’ was the refrigerator. I pared down all the ‘art’, school stuff, old reminders, magnets and threw away the bread and crap that R always puts up there to keep safe from the Newfs (if you put loaves on bread on the counter, they WILL eat it- ugh). I normally use stainless steel appliance spray to clean and shine the thing, but a wet microfiber cloth did the trick-followed by a shine with a dry one!

In the midst of the cleaning frenzy, I spied my cousin outside the house on his motorcycle, so I went out there to meet him… he wasn’t there, but I found a banana and small apple near the door. He’s my #1 prime suspect for gnome bestower. He won’t even admit to leaving the fruit! Maisie enjoyed the banana, but she threw the apple over the side of the porch rail…

Prime suspect for gnome leaver is my cousin… I saw him on his motorcycle through the window- and when I went outside, I found a banana by my door. Maisie enjoyed it.

I continued to work in the kitchen while he was tracing the electrical from the room to the breaker box yesterday.

BEFORE pic of the gross microwave area in my kitchen

The cloths worked like magic on my electric kettle and coffee maker!

After pic of kettle

this is the best my coffee maker has looked since I bought it!

I tackled the disgusting microwave and the surrounding counter. I almost didn’t do this. SO yucky! I had 27 things to throw away (well, I have to do this daily), so I opted to throw tea boxes and old bread.

getting rid of the boxes of tea and putting them all in one wicker box

I have seen this done in restaurants

I HOPE I remember that the tea is in here!

Moving the microwave completely grossed me out! I am so angry with myself for letting this go as long as I did.

I was in shock when I moved the microwave. Just disgusting!

underneath *shudder*

AFTER!!! Now I hope it STAYS like this.

After I finished the microwave area, R informed me that the electricity in the house was being turned off, so Maisie and I retired to the front porch. She found my mother’s magazines on the couch and started to tear them to pieces read them. C decided to mow the lawn and take the trash out while our house was dark, too, which was fantastic of him!

It was a very productive day yesterday and I am looking forward to doing the taping/mudding/spackling of the back room today!
  

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Gnome Issues: THE SICK BASTARDS

gnoe

Gnome madness continues.

Mr. Tickles the Gnome (that’s what he was named, so he wouldn’t scare the baby) is one scary m*thaf*cka.

This is NOT something I want to see when I am half-awake and going out to the porch to get my paper.

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Serious Weirdness Continues: ANOTHER THREE GNOMES Showed Up Today- WHERE ARE THEY COMING FROM?!?!?!

my kid with 2 of the 3 new 'mystery gnomes' that showed up today. Apparently, they are now MAILING THEMSELVES TO MY HOUSE.

my kid with 2 of the 3 new ‘mystery gnomes’ that showed up today.
Apparently, they are now MAILING THEMSELVES TO MY HOUSE.

WOW.

If you read my previous post you’ll know that I’ve been having a seriously strange thing happen over the last year: GNOMES have simply been APPEARING in my garden and on my porch, out of nowhere. I have no idea who is doing this.

So I wake up today and the mailman left packages on my porch from Amazon. I thought nothing of it, as we order stuff in for Maisie all the time. I had a Fisher Price Little People house coming in, so I thought it was just arriving early.

I open up the packages and there are THREE FREAKING NEW GNOMES INSIDE! The packing slip said it was a gift, with no name, no sender info, NOTHING. I questioned everyone in this house, my parents- no one sent it from my end. To top everything off, they were HILARIOUS.

imagine my SHOCK when I opened the package and these stared up at me...

imagine my SHOCK when I opened the package and these stared up at me…

One was a flasher with an obvious hard-on (omg, they MAKE THESE THINGS?!), the other was a female gnome STRIPPER, and the THIRD gnome was a larger ZOMBIE GNOME!!!!

yeah... this was the first one Maisie spied and took a shine to

yeah… this was the first one Maisie spied and took a shine to

For some reason (of course), Maisie spotted the flasher gnome, gave a squeal and crawled right to him. The zombie scared her a little, as it has these huge creepy hands, so I named him “Mr Tickles” and pretended he was going to tickle her. It seemed to do the trick, as she started chewing on him and playing with the hideous thing.

Maisie and "Mr Tickles" the Zombie gnome

Maisie and “Mr Tickles” the Zombie gnome

My father suggested I post that ‘someone needs to stop leaving these $20 dollar bills on my porch’ and maybe THOSE would show up instead.

my father thinks I should have complained about 'mysterious $20 dollar bills show up on the porch' instead

my father thinks I should have complained about ‘mysterious $20 dollar bills show up on the porch’ instead

I wish someone would tell me if they’re doing this. It’s an expensive prank! I am still completely freaked out about this.

Maisie was rather TOO enchanted with the flasher

Maisie was rather TOO enchanted with the flasher

Now I am going to have a colony of filthy rude pervert gnomes living in my flower beds. I am almost scared to look through the weeds to see if any more are out there that I missed.

Mr Tickles the Zombie gnome is huge.

Mr Tickles the Zombie gnome is huge and scary looking

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Serious Weirdness: GNOMES keep showing up out of NOWHERE in my yard!!!

The newest batch of mystery gnomes- even Maisie doesn't know what to make of them!

The latest batch of mystery gnomes- even Maisie doesn’t know what to make of them!

This has been an on-going problem for about a year now.

I bought a funny gnome last year and placed it in my yard. I KNOW where that one came from…

this was my first gnome.  I bought him and I know where he comes from.

this was my first gnome. I bought him and I know where he comes from. The writing beneath his feet says “Say Hello to my Little Friend”

Suddenly, another appeared.  I didn’t think too much of it- and I asked everyone in the house, no one here purchased any additional gnomes.

this was the first

this was the first “mystery” gnome to show up. He is unassuming and I didn’t find him for quite some time…

Not long after THAT, I found ANOTHER one that looked like it was smoking weed in my garden- I KNEW that couldn’t be a fluke.  I don’t even know where to buy a marijuana smoking gnome, for god sakes!

Again, I question the people in my house, folks on Facebook, family members- no one ‘fesses up.

the weed smoking gnome that really started to get me rather freaked out- he showed up this year, earlier in the spring

this is the weed smoking gnome that really started to get me rather freaked out- he showed up this year, earlier in the spring

Months went by and I forgot about the previous gnome incidents until this evening, when I discovered not ONE, but THREE little gnomes sitting in a messy garden bed near my steps.  They are “Hear No Evil, See no Evil, Speak no Evil” gnomes. I was told by the manny that they’d been there for about a week- I didn’t even NOTICE THEM (as usual) til today.  I’ve not been very vigilant about weeding my garden beds this year, so I have no idea whether there may be more of them in the underbrush or what…

the three little gnomes that appeared today

the three little gnomes that appeared today

People have suggested that I ‘take them on adventures’- but I don’t have just ONE gnome, I have an ENTIRE FREAKING COLONY FORMING!!  If I took them anywhere, it would look like the gnome version of Jim Jones’ colony in Guyana.

I might as well make gnome-sized grape kool-aid and resign myself to this every-growing invasion of gnome-titude.

Whoever my gnome benefactor(s) is/are, thank you.  You’re twisted people who obviously delight in driving me crazy.

I am officially perplexed.  This is one of the funniest, weirdest, longest running mysteries to ever happen to me.